Host Seth MacFarlane took the stage at the 2013 Oscars with an opening monologue revealing he was ready to poke fun at the star-studded audience.
“The quest to make Tommy Lee Jones laugh begins now,” he said.
But it wasn’t too long before MacFarlane was interrupted. William Shatner, dressed as his iconic character Captain Kirk from “Star Trek,” descended on the stage to warn MacFarlane that he was about to ruin the Oscars and be branded the worst host ever.
“The show is a disaster. I’ve come back in time … to stop you from ruining the Academy Awards,” Shatner said.
Shatner tried to steer MacFarlane away from singing an “incredibly offensive song that upsets a lot of women in the audience.”
Cue MacFarlane’s medley “We Saw Your Boobs,” a laundry list set to music of acclaimed actresses in Hollywood who all bared their breasts in film.
MacFarlane was joined by the Gay Men’s Chorus of Los Angeles to call out Meryl Streep, Anne Hathaway, Naomi Watts, Jodie Foster, Hilary Swank and countless others who we’ve seen nude in film.
Not every joke funnyman Seth MacFarlane made landed with the A-list crowd at the 85th annual Academy Awards.
The host elicited gasps from the crowd when he introduced “Django Unchained” as “the story of a man fighting to get back his woman, who’s been subjected to unthinkable violence. Or, as Chris Brown and Rihanna call it, a date movie.”
Another joke that somehow earned a too-soon nod? A throw to President Abraham Lincoln’s assassination.
“I’d argue that the actor who really got inside Lincoln’s head was John Wilkes Booth,” MacFarlane said.
MacFarlane’s jab at Mel Gibson didn’t land too smoothly either. MacFarlane said the N-word laden “Django Unchained” screenplay was “loosely based on Mel Gibson’s voicemails.”
The theme of the 85 annual Academy Awards was celebrating music in film, and the tributes to movie musicals didn’t disappoint.
Featured performers included Catherine Zeta-Jones belting “All That Jazz” from 2002′s Best Picture winner “Chicago,” Jennifer Hudson’s show-stopping “And I’m Telling You I’m Not Going” from 2006′s “Dreamgirls,” and the cast of this year’s Best Picture nominee “Les Miserables” reuniting on stage for “One Day More.”
To introduce Christopher Plummer to the stage to present the award for Best Supporting Actress, MacFarlane couldn’t help but make a joke out of the actor’s infamous role as Captain Von Trapp in “The Sound of Music.”
MacFarlane came out to announce the Von Trapp family singers, but no one came out. Instead, a man dressed in a Nazi uniform ran in to tell him that they were gone.
When Daniel Radcliffe took the stage to present the award for Achievement in Production Design, he was joined by his hobbling co-presenter Kristen Stewart, who was seen crutching along the red carpet during the pre-show.
The “Twilight” star’s makeup artist told People magazine that the actress “cut the ball of her foot, quite severely, on glass two days ago.”
The Associated Press reported that backstage, Best Supporting Actress winner Anne Hathaway told Stewart to “break a leg.”
Jennifer Lawrence was so shocked to take home the Oscar for Best Actress that she lost her footing on her way up to the stage to accept her award.
“You guys are just standing up because I fell and that’s really embarrassing,” she said to the audience.
Lawrence regained her composure to give her acceptance speech, extending a special thank you to “the women this year,” who she called “so magnificent and so inspiring.”
It was a highly anticipated win for Daniel Day-Lewis, who took home the award for Best Actor for his portrayal of Abe Lincoln in Steven Spielberg’s “Lincoln.”
Lewis cracked a joke in his acceptance speech, saying he was supposed to be cast as Margaret Thatcher and presenter Meryl Streep was the first choice for Lincoln.
“Meryl Streep was Steven’s first choice to play Lincoln… I’d like to see that version,” Lewis said.
In one of the biggest surprises of the night, the Academy brought out First Lady Michelle Obama to help Jack Nicholson introduce the nominees for Best Picture.
Rocking her new bangs and a silver gown, the first lady, live from the White House, announced “Argo” as this year’s Best Picture.
“It was a thrill to announce the #Oscars2013 best picture winner from the @WhiteHouse! Congratulations Argo!” FLOTUS tweeted afterwards.
Ben Affleck was flabbergasted by his win for Best Picture for “Argo.” His frenzied, heartfelt acceptance speech resonated as he thanked his wife, Jennifer Garner, and ended on an inspirational high note.
“I want to thank my wife, who I don’t normally associate with Iran. I want to thank you for working on our marriage. It is work, but it is the best kind of work,” he said.
“I was here 15 years ago or something and you know I had no idea what I was doing. I stood out here in front of you all, really just a kid. I went out and I never thought I’d be back here and I am because of so many of you who are here tonight …. I want to thank them for what they taught me, which is that you have to work harder than you think you possibly can, you can’t hold grudges. It’s hard, but you can’t hold grudges. And it doesn’t matter how you get knocked down in life because that’s going to happen. All that matters is that you got to get up.”